In the past 3 day of we have been writing about the Ridge i hope you like my story
Hi my name is Danny, I wanted to go to the Ridge for along time. I have been mountain biking for a long time. It had been my dream to come here. I was rowing my boat I could hear the rushing sound of water. I could see the hungry seal swimming around me. I got there, my dream came true when i put my foot down on the rocky land of the Ridge.
I grabbed my bike and off I went. It was as tricky as I thought but I was happy that i was here.
I went zooming off to the mountain and biked my way to the top. I had went through a mini water- fall then jumped over a big gap. I hopped off my bike and climbed a mountain. Then I went back down to get to the next mountain. I had to go zooming down to the bottom but i still made it in one piece.
I just got down there. That was a fun ride. Then my arm and legs were starting to ache but I did not stop at all. I kept going to the next mountain then i had to carry my bike again to get up the hill. I went up to the top then went down again. then I went back
down. When I got to the grass bit I did a flip on the barbwire then I got to the beach. There I got to look at the view and had a rest. I forgot to tell you Goodbye.
Jared. I really like your writing about the ridge. Maybe next time you can add more facts about how did you wrote the ridge. Maybe you can fix some mistakes on your ridge story.
ReplyDeleteJared. I really like you story about the ridge but next time maybe think about some juicy words and describe it better
ReplyDeleteHi I really like your story about the ridge. It was an interesting story. Maybe next time use some more juicy words.
ReplyDeleteGeat job Jared on your story. I like how you used alot of punctuation in your story. Maybe next time start your story in differn starters. Also maybe you can go back to your story and fix some mistakes.
ReplyDeleteHi Corbyn I really like your comment next time add more detail
ReplyDelete